Just throwing some stuff out here.......

Well in less than a week I will be 30. Wow hard for me to believe. I certainly don't feel like I am 30. I suppose that is a good thing. Not many people believe it eithier. That is a good thing too. Hopefully I am saying the same shit when I am turning 40. Wow in ten years I will be considered over the hill. Never thought these days would come. It's cool though. I am not stressing about it like some people I know have. I also didn't think this is where I would be in life eithier but than again I don't worry to much about the future. I mean life is journey and most of the time it blows but I go through it day to day to see what's gonna happen next. There are great things in life and it's usually the little things that bring you the most happiness.

Been looking at some houses online. I am just not into it right now. Gives me a headache and I know we have some time left here. I do hope to find something reasonable we can both love and or at least like and live with. I am sure we will just going to take some time. It's amazing to me in a matter of months how life can change. I know it can all change in a day. I am just ready to get out of this house because as much as I do love it and all I loathe it just the same. It's been a big mess for awhile now and something has to change and that's what we are doing. I love it because it was new and updated compared to some homes we looked at. We were able to choose everything from our cabinets to the door handles, carpet color, kitchen tile, bathroom tile, heck even our outlet cover colors. Things that get on my nerves are the water never gets really hot in the winter but is way to hot in the summer. Yeah we have tried adjusting the temperature. Does not work. Also paying way to much for it, Um it's caused many financial hardships. This house is going to change my whole life as I know it right now here really soon. I can accept that though. I am ready for some changes. I am tired of working to just pay a house payment. Never having any real cash to spend just because. Sure I could go charge whatever I wanted but that to is going to change. Never being able to afford a vacation to somewhere other than PA to visit with the family. In all reality it's to big of a house for just us and the dogs. Way to much to clean. There are many other loves and hates but the hates so outway the loves. When you get down to it all in the end It's only a house. I am sure I will find one I can love and hate again but maybe this time around go the smart route and have much more love.

My Aunt and Uncle are here from Florida visitng. My Uncle is not doing so hot or looking so good so my mom tells me. They stay at her house and I hooked up with mom and my aunt tonight for a late dinner. I will see my uncle sometime this week. My aunt wants to take me out to eat for my birthday. She hopes he will feel well enough to go along. Also this week my Aunt who lives in Newark had to have surgery to have her right breast removed. I feel so bad for her. It was five years ago this month she had to have her left one removed. She was unable to get a implant because the cancer was so far into her lymphnodes and up under her arm they thought it about impossible not to mention not a good idea. So she got a prothesis. I thought she went through all of it beautifully. She was positive she was not afraid to talk about it or to show if you wanted to see and understand. I can only hope that I would be able to hold up that way under such circumstances. She has been in my prayers since I found out and I hope that she goes through this whole ordeal again as well as she did last time. I am not saying it was easy or anything but she did so well. As well as can be expected with cancer. With losing a part of you that has pretty much always been there. She is a role model in how she handled it all. I suppose I need to tell her this and someday I plan to do just that. I hope that she kicks cancers ass once again. She took her sisters youngest daughter she was about 5 or 6 years old because her sister had developed MS and she has been raising her ever since. She did this when she was nearing retirement after her own son was long gone. She helped oversee her sisters care. She is about to be 15 and Well my aunt needs to be here to see her through to her graduation and onto the rest of her life. It's just scray to me how many people are now getting this disease. It's nice to know though how more mainstream it has become within the public eye. Much more awareness and if you catch it early you have a fighting chance.

I have lots of things on my mind lately and I have been trying to deal the best I can. I have alot on my plate right now but I know it could be so much worse. I am thankful for the things I do have and that I am comfortable and warm at night. That I have a good core behind me like my mom and husband and some friends. I have my 3 four legged babies and they are always at the door so happy to see me come home. I have my health which is not perfect but again I am better off than lots of people out there. For all that and many more things I am thankful.